Laws of Cat Physics

LAW OF CAT INERTIA - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

LAW OF CAT MOTION - A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

LAW OF CAT THERMODYNAMICS - Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, all heat flows to the cat.

FIRST LAW OF CAT ENERGY CONSERVATION - Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

LAW OF BAG/BOX OCCUPANCY - All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

LAW OF FURNITURE REPLACEMENT - A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

LAW OF PILL REJECTION - Any pill given to a cat has potential energy to reach escape velocity.

LAW OF CAT COMPOSITION - A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-matter + It Doesn't Matter.

LAW OF SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM - Given enough time, a cat will land in just about any space.

LAW OF CAT OBEDIENCE - As yet undiscovered.

From Thomas S. Ellsworth Good Clean Fun

10/22/98